First Time Failures

Anonymous asked: I'm 19 years old and i have hardly any friends because i'm so socially inept. :( People easily get disinterested in me and i'm too shy to approach people because i fear that i'll make a fool out of myself. I have already in the past when i've tried socialising. :( Can you give me some advice on how i should go about with this problem?

Hey A,

Sorry if this response took a long time.  I’ve been out of the country and whoa, is this a big question.  It kind of hits really close to home too.  Let me preface any advice I give with this disclaimer: I used to be terribly shy.  Like I was the girl who never spoke to other people and read a lot.  Part of me will always be that girl and I don’t think I’ll ever be completely comfortable with the idea of meeting new people.  Ok, here goes.      

Being shy is a character trait, not a character flaw.  If you’re shy, then that’s what you are, and that’s perfectly cool.  Being shy doesn’t exclude you from being passionate about the things you’re interested in.  It sucks to be in a situation where you meet someone new and you feel so desperate for them to like you, but you have no idea how to go about making that happen.  Already having something in common goes a long way in making that first meeting a lot less stomach-churning, especially if that something in common is a mutual interest both of you are passionate about.  Try to meet some people that are into the same things you are.

I have no idea what your personal situation is like so I can’t give you much advice, but that.  Still, if you want to discuss it some more or want to discuss anything in general feel free to keep in touch!

Best,

Crystal